Child Reunification Therapy is the specialized therapy serving two specific goals. These are:

a) to strengthen the apparent bonds of affection when the child’s affection for the absent or non-custodial parent yet remains emotionally challenged due to loyalty to the residential parent; and

b) to fully engage the child with the absent or non-custodial parent in order to prepare the child for change of custody as considered by the foster care agency, the juvenile court, or family court’s determination.
Oftentimes, terms are used by both informed and uninformed parties characterizing a child’s behavior and outwardly and verbally expressed antipathy, fear and hatred towards the non-custodial parent. Such terms are most notably parental alienation, with the characterization of the custodial parent as an alienator, with narcissistic and bi-polar disorders.

Sometimes, children are estranged from their non-custodial parents resulting from their own inward thoughts, their own internalizing as opposed to brainwashing by the custodial parent which often accompanies a highly conflicted parent separation and divorce. Children so estranged suffer, too, from their own unfounded blame for their parents’ marital and or relationship breakdown. It is then easy for the child to vilify the absent parent, in order to preserve their own sanity, their need to find peace.
The Toby Center provides expertise in helping children and their so called ‘targeted’ parents with the opportunities to explore feelings, to find the sources for those feelings, and then to refocus on what is reality. This is frequently an emotionally charged process, but a necessary one in order to preserve what research has determined to be the most important relationship to form a child’s kind, happier and more contented view of the world.

When ordered by a judge, child reunification is often misunderstood, though on target for the needs of the child. The judge considers the outcomes that are preferred, but they often do not understand the process necessary to achieve those most important results. Child reunification must be facilitated by a clinically licensed and uniquely skilled therapist with the ability to see clearly the challenges posed by the child, and the illogic which may be expressed. That therapist must reframe the child’s thinking, and must do so with the support of the court in order to succeed. 

The efforts by the facilitating professional is to assure both parents and their children and require the compliance of the custodial parent in order to be successful. The value will be evident when the more normal, loving and accepting relationship is found for the child(ren) and their non-custodial parent over a period of time, absent stonewalling.

We can help such families to adjust with family change by assisting the children in their adjustment in relating to two different parents, and to enable the parents themselves to move forward by managing their anger, their stress, their conflict.

The court and all parties must agree to the terms of the Toby Center for process, frequency and location in view of the goals specified by the court and other therapeutic considerations. The Toby Center reserves the right to designate an appropriate location to assist client families.